Great Loss

How do you do it?

How do you keep it together when you miss someone more than words could ever express?

How do you get through loss?

Truthfully? You don't.

Let that sink in for a moment.... you don't. You just go through the motions... you do what you have to do to keep things moving... but you never forget. It never gets better. It never goes away. The void is there forever.

February 24 will mark 17 years since that awful day. The day my brother parted ways with this life and joined his ranks in Heaven. 17 years.

The pain subsided. I understand no one lasts forever... but the void still remains. There are good days and bad days. There are times when I just want to curl up and cry all day. But I put on a brave smile and go out into the world.

God has given me two of the most incredible gifts in my sons. They are endless sources of smiles and laughter. They give me purpose. They keep me grounded. At times, they even drive me a little bit crazy - but it's a good crazy.

They give me a reason to be... to smile... and to find something amazing in each and every day.

Until them, finding joy in each day was a lot more difficult.

Every single person is different. Some of us grieve openly.... others, like me, keep it all inside. I write. I sing. I try to find reminders.

I wrote a LOT.

To this day, hearing "I'm Turning Japanese" or "Brown Eyed Girl" on the radio sparks a huge smile.

I love looking at pictures and cherishing the memories. When you lose a loved one, you are left with just that.

Memories.

The best part of memories is that they are yours. Forever. No one can take them away from you.